Forgive Me
by CSIsnickers101
Summary: "Forgive me for what i'm about to do." What could possibly go wrong? x
1. Chapter 1

Forgive Me

Disclaimer - unfortunately I do not own the amazing programme that is CSI.

Nick climbed out of his Denali and addressed the PD Captain who stood before him. "What've we got, Brass?"

"Suspected murder suicide," he answered. "Alex and Janie Smith."

Nick nodded. "Witnesses?"

"A few are being interviewed now, but all are claiming they saw nothing and heard everything," Brass replied.

"Spousal disagreement gone bad?"

"You tell me," Brass raised an eyebrow. "Gonna speak to some more neighbours, see if I can get anything else."

Nick nodded and headed towards the pleasant looking home. _You wouldn't think anything had happened just by looking. _Nick told himself. _Once again proving the 'don't judge a book by it's cover' proverb._

"Hey, you working this scene alone?" Brass looked back and shouted.

"Nah, the cavalry's coming," Nick smiled and walked into the house.

Sure enough, he was soon joined by Sara and Greg and all three of them set about working the scene. Nick agreed to start with the perimeter of the two bodies and the immediate surrounding rooms. Greg went around the rest of the house happily. And Sara had stuck with the bodies themselves, once David had cleared them.

Greg disappeared right away, not wasting a singled second. Sara too had cracked on with checking the bodies and, along with Nick, what was surrounding them. Or wasn't.

"There's some kind of void here," Sara announced.

"Hmm," Nick looked at the empty space and thought for a moment. "Maybe a coffee table or something."

"Huh, great minds really do think alike," Sara pursed her lips before turning back to the uncollected evidence in front of her.

Nick found himself holding his gaze for longer than she did. And longer than he intended to. He couldn't help himself, now could he? He tried convincing himself that he was a man and it was normal to stare at a women's body. That's all well and good, when the body doesn't belong to a women you work with, you consider a friend or possibly even a sister. But then again Nick couldn't help himself, really he couldn't. He always thought she looked amazing in what ever she wore, whether it be overalls when they processed evidence or that dazzling dress she wore for last years Christmas party. _She'd kill me if she knew I remembered that on purpose. She'd kill me if she realised I was thinking about her at all._ Nick thought. _Man, she'd kill me if she realised who else had a habit of staring. Including myself._ He had to admit that much. But even saying it in his own head made him feel sleazy and cheap. Made it like Sara was too. She was far from it. Pure class. And he stood by the fact that any man she ended up with would be the luckiest man in the world.

"Could you stop staring, please?" Sara asked politely.

"Huh, what?" Nick asked, coming back into reality.

"You were staring at me," she explained. "It was weirding me out."

"Oh, sorry," Nick shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly. "I couldn't help myself. I had to return the favour."

"Excuse me?" Sara raised her eyebrows. "Return the favour?"

"Yeah," Nick smirked. "I couldn't help but notice you checking me out."

"I was checking you out? Please, don't flatter yourself," she scoffed.

"It's a good boost for my ego," Nick winked.

"Yeah, like your ego needs a boost," Sara rolled her eyes.

"Well you know what they say about men and their egos," he stated. "The bigger their ego, the bigger their…"

Sara eyes widened. _God, does that mean what I think it does? _She could only shake her head and pass him a sideways glare as Nick started to laugh at his own immature comment.

"Men," she scoffed under her breath.

"What's that Sar? Guessing my size?" Nick smirked, thoroughly enjoying his opportunity to flirt with her.

"Grow up, Nick," Sara insisted, looking curiously at a fibre near the victim and swiftly changing the subject. "I think I've got something."

"Oh, and what's that?" Nick asked, walking over to her to have a closer look, letting her drop the conversation. For now.

"Synthetic, I'm guessing," she added.

Peering over Sara's shoulder, Nick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, can't argue there."

Sara turned her head to face Nick, all ready to plaster a confident smirk on her face before she realised just how close he was to her. She was taken aback by how loud his soft breathing sounded in her ear. _Does he know how close he's standing? _Sara thought. She didn't want to say anything, she didn't want him to be embarrassed by their surprising proximity, although could he possibly be embarrassed after what he just insinuated about himself? _Stop thinking about that! _She didn't say anything because she kinda liked it. _Back to the case, Sara._

"Um, I'll bag it and make my first stop be to Hodges when we get back to the lab," Sara insisted, clearing her throat.

"Good plan," Nick nodded.

He turned his head towards Sara slightly and locked eyes with her. _Not good, man. Not good. _He thought. And yet he couldn't part with her eyes for anything. Nick's heart rate gradually increased and his hands became sweaty and clammy. _What's wrong with me? It's just Sara._ That in itself was the problem; it had been a long time since she'd been 'just Sara' in his mind.

"I'll… I should, I need to…," Nick stuttered his words nervously.

"You should get back to the, um, the perimeter," Sara nodded, backing away from him slowly. "You know what Grissom would say."

"Yeah, I do. I can hear his words in my head already," he smiled.

_Don't do it, Nicky! _Perhaps not Grissom's words, perhaps his own, he wasn't sure he just knew he had to focus on the case they had been set.

"And I'll rush this and all the other evidence back to the lab a.s.a.p.," Sara added and walked away, not looking back at all.

"Sara," Nick called after her and sighed, before muttering under his breath. "Way to go, Stokes. Really did well this time."

He felt so guilty. If it wasn't apparent before that Nick had made Sara rather awkward with his ego comment, it was very clear now that by standing unnervingly close to his friend had made her extremely uncomfortable. _My bad. _Nick couldn't believe he had even virtually made a move on Sara, she wasn't exactly the type of girl to succumb to his charm easily and jump after him. But how she'd just acted had given him a rare insight of her feelings. _Well, you know what they say, friends always make the best lovers_.

"Hey, Nick," Greg smiled as he walked over to him. "How's it going?"

"I'm getting there," Nick shrugged his shoulders. "Have you seen Sara?"

"You haven't lost her, have you?"

"No, I think she went back to the lab with most of the evidence," Nick explained. "Just wondered if she had."

"She did. But she didn't look happy," Greg answered. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Nick shook his head. "Doesn't matter."

"'Kay," Greg shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk away again. "If you say so."

Around the same time, Sara was just stepping out of her car, halfway through a conflicted conversation with herself. She tried not to be angry, not to show any emotion at all but it flowed out of her like it was a normal occurrence. _How could he put me in a position like that? _She wondered. _How the hell am I supposed to feel now?_ Sara really wasn't sure what the answer to that question might have been. She wanted to allow herself to be flattered by the fact that she was clearly so close to Nick as a friend that he could stand so close to her and it not phase him one little bit. But at the same she was completely pissed at him. He had the nerve to do something like that, to say something like that, at a crime scene where he should have known to be professional. _Where's the harm in flirting with a friend? Try telling yourself you hated it_. Truth be told, she never hated it when Nick would flirt with her, he made her feel special and cared about, something only a minute number of men had ever done, and all those men had turned out all the same; cheating, lying scumbags. _Can I really trust Nick?_

Later that day:

_Grissom! _Sara screamed inwardly. _Argh, I'm gonna kill him! _Who would have thought that the one and only time in the entire world that she would have loved for Grissom to have stayed inside his box, his office, his own little planet, oblivious to human interaction that surrounded him everyday he went and suspected something. He went and suspected Nick and Sara of having some kind of argument and falling out, hence the enormous elephant in the room. What didn't help was when confronted about it, Sara flew off the handles, demanding Grissom to mind his own business. And stay out of hers.

So when the case continued on, the team regrouped in the break room. Grissom redistributed the new task load in an attempt to obviously get the best result possible and solve the case. He clearly thought he was helping, thought he would be helping Sara with the problem he knew she had, thought he was doing the right thing by Nick and Sara when he chose to put them together. And what was worse was that he could've put them out in the field where Sara could have had all the space she needed, but no, Grissom had shoved them both in a tiny, cramped, stuffy room to go over evidence they had already collected, making sure nothing was missed.

All Sara wanted to do was work solo and figure out why her stomach had filled with butterflies when Nick had looked her in the eye. It's not like he hadn't done that before. But it was something about that moment that felt strangely different, maybe due to his comments just moments before their awkward moment.

"So, you find anything we missed yet?" Nick asked, breaking the silence.

"No," Sara answered simply. "What about you?"

"Nah, me neither," he replied, shaking his head.

"Fantastic," Sara mumbled under her breath.

"Sara, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted earlier," Nick said sheepishly. "It was unprofessional and inappropriate, and I should not have said any of it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Sara smiled, deciding to let bygones be bygones. "I'd already forgiven you."

Nick nodded before turning his attention to the evidence. "Hang on a second. What's that?" Nick thought aloud.

Sara leaned over and glanced at Nick before looking down at the evidence in his hands. "What've you got?

"Think I found something we missed," he stated. "Greg processed this piece of evidence, obviously not you or I."

"Obviously," Sara smirked. "You gonna tell me what you found?"

"Does that look like a fingerprint to you?" he asked, pointing to a garage door opener remote control that was found at their crime scene.

"Why yes, Nicky, I believe it does," she smiled as Nick turned to face her.

Sara found herself locking eyes with Nick in the awkward silence that followed. Her face was mere inches away from his. She tried so desperately to keep her breathing calm and under control but in doing so her heart rate hit the roof. _What's a girl to do? _Sara couldn't stop herself, she leaned closer just a teeny weeny bit, sighed audibly and squeezed her eyes shut when she realised just what she had tried to do. _God, what must he think of me now? Bet he thinks I'm desperate. Because I am desperate._

Nick noticed what was happening and froze. What could he do? _I can't do anything. She'll think even less of me. _Part of him considered, perhaps just for a second, closing that small yet far too large gap between them and see if all the flirting over the years had indeed just been flirting or in fact some underlying… something. Test the waters basically. Nick had always liked her, he thought she was gorgeous and thinking about that probably helped him flirt with her shamelessly or even have the courage not to explode every time he got the opportunity to work with his Sara. _My Sara? Where did that come from? Since when has been mine?_

Sara cleared her throat and moved away from Nick awkwardly. That was kind of the theme for the day; awkward.

"Right, um, that's shift over, would you believe it?" Sara tried to smile but failed.

"No, it's gone fast today," Nick agreed, sticking to their small talk.

"Well, then, if we're done here, I think we should both head home, you know, catch up on some well needed sleep," Sara added as she stood up. "And when we come back tomorrow, all refreshed and well rested, we'll get this case all wrapped up."

"Sounds good," Nick nodded. "You head off and I'll just sort out this evidence."

"Okay then," she smiled, still not making eye contact. "I'll see you later then, Nicky."

Nick nodded and Sara walked passed him and headed for the door. Deep down, he wanted to stop her from leaving, he wanted to pounce on her and kiss her for all she was worth. _Very inappropriate. _Nick shook his head of that pathetic thought and started packing away the evidence, keeping his head down.

"Forgive me for what I'm about to do," Sara sighed as she stopped just short of the door, her back still turned to Nick.

"Huh?" Nick snapped his head up in Sara's direction and saw her turn back around and head straight towards him.

Before he had time to react to what was happening, Sara had cupped his face in her hands and planted a slow, sensuous kiss on his lips, lasting only a few seconds. She turned around again and walked out the room without saying a single word, as if nothing had just happened, as if she hadn't just kissed one of her best friends.

Thank you for reading. Ooh, what could possibly happen next? Hope no one hates me for the cliff hanger, next part will be up shortly. Review please.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - I don't own CSI or any of the actors or actresses.

Sara really should have thought out what she did next but she was so embarrassed by the lack of impulse control she suddenly seemed to possess. She was certain if she ran into Nick again before she'd gone home then that would have happened again, that she would've kissed him again. Or at least tried too. And that would have been very bad, right? Part of Sara wasn't all that convinced but the other parts of her were able to overwrite her untoward feelings.

Sara really couldn't fathom where that had come from, what part of her had wanted to kiss Nick, what part of her even liked him like that. _You've always liked him like that_. Her conscience told her. _You were just too scared to admit it, too scared to get your heart broken again._ Sara found herself nodding in agreement. _He wouldn't hurt me, would he?_ She asked herself. _No, he wouldn't, he wouldn't dare._

All these thoughts and more were whirling around Sara's head as she completely skipped heading to the locker room to collect her things, she merely headed straight for her department issued vehicle in the car park, fearful of the tears she felt forming in her eyes, knowing if she were to stay in that God forbidden hell hole she might spontaneously combust.

In the mean time, Nick was still stunned. _Did that just happen? _He asked himself. _Wow, she even tastes like strawberries… Dude, snap out of it, she kissed you! Sara kissed you! _He stood up and ran out into the corridor, nearly colliding into Greg.

"Whoa there, man," Greg smiled. "Where's the fire?"

"Have you seen Sara?" Nick asked.

"Twice in one day? Wow, I'm impressed. How exactly do you lose Sara? You'll have to teach me sometime," Greg teased.

"Greg, shut up, I'm being serious. Where is she? Have you seen her or haven't you? It's not a trick question," Nick snapped.

"No, sorry I haven't seen her," Greg shook his head. "I thought she was going over evidence with you?"

"Yeah she was, but we finished so she left," Nick explained.

"Why do you need to find her so bad?"

"She, um, she left something, that's all," Nick shrugged his shoulders. "No big deal really."

"Well, if you two were done then she probably went home, she said she was tired earlier," Greg stated.

"Yeah, right. I'll, um, I'll just drop it off on my way home," Nick sighed. "Thanks, Greggo."

Greg nodded and watched Nick walk in the direction of the locker room. He was suspicious to say the least. But somehow he decided to let it slide, again. He'd have the truth out of Nick one day in the not so distant future.

Nick walked into the locker room and slammed his fist into his locker. Why hadn't she said something? Why hadn't he sensed something? After all, it was his job to notice things that weren't right. Nick still couldn't get his head round what had happened. _Why would she kiss me? _He asked himself. _She must like you, dumb ass. Do I like her back? Yes, how could I not, she's gorgeous. God, she's gonna think I don't like her, think I was just leading her on._ After the short argument he had with himself, Nick composed himself enough to get his jacket out his locker. He even chose to look in Sara's locker, his gut convincing him she'd left so quick she forgot to get her stuff. His gut was correct.

With Sara's handbag in hand, Nick went to his car and drove. Destination: Sara's apartment complex. He prayed she wouldn't hate him. _I don't know what I'm gonna do if she hates me. _He thought. _I can't live thinking… thinking the women I love hates me. Whoa, where did "love" come from? Getting a bit ahead of yourself, Nicky._

Meanwhile, Sara was having a nightmare, a living nightmare. She wished she was asleep, fast asleep but even then she knew who she'd be dreaming about that night. _Not like that's a bad thing_. She smiled to herself before remembering why she wasn't asleep and dreaming about her gorgeous, charming Texan co-worker. Ah yes, she was locked out her own apartment. She felt like such a tool when she climbed the stairs and it dawned on her that she hadn't bothered to get her bag which unfortunately still had her house keys inside. Sara sighed. _What an idiot_. She'd checked and double checked her jacket pockets just in case. _Damn. _She cursed. _Why did I not think of this, before I left the flaming lab._ Sara sighed again, this time sliding down the door, dropping her head in her hands. _Why, Sara, why so you have to muck up everything decent in your life?_

"It must be love, love, love. It must be love, love, love. Nothing more, nothing less. Love is the best," Nick sang along with the radio automatically, not realising the words he was saying. _Stop singing that! You're paranoid._ Nick warned himself. _I'm getting on my own last nerve. _Nick pulled up outside Sara's apartment block just moments later. He climbed out his car and headed up the three flights of stairs.

Sara had kept her head down in her hands until she heard footsteps approaching her. She slowly lifted her head, assuming the footsteps must have belonged to a sympathetic neighbour who'd seen her in distress. However, she wasn't quite prepared for who she saw.

"Nick," it came out more of a question than a statement, as it was intended.

"Hey," he smiled, pleased that she seemed okay with him being there.

"Hey," Sara echoed with a small smile spreading across her face.

"Forgot this?" Nick asked, holding out Sara's bag.

"Yeah, yeah I did. How did you know?" She asked.

"You know me, mind reader in my off time," Nick winked and offered Sara a hand to help her up.

"Thank you," Sara smiled awkwardly. "So you have x-ray vision now too? It was in my locker. Do you nosy into everyone's locker or just mine?"

"I had a hunch, that's all," he explained. "Looks like I was right."

"Yes you were, and thank you," Sara nodded, started rummaging around her handbag until she found her keys. "Ah ha!"

Nick smiled. _She's amazing._ He thought. _And she refuses to believe it, and how beautiful she is. Damn, damn I was right before. I'm in love with her. And falling harder everyday, every moment I spend with her._

Sara, however, wanted the floor to so desperately to open up and swallow her whole. She couldn't take the pathetic politeness, the childish and almost immature behaviour as both people were clearly trying to ignore the fact that Sara had kissed Nick only under an hour ago.

Sara swung open her apartment door. She smiled in victory. _Ha, beat that door._ She turned and faced Nick who was nervously stuffing his hands into his front pockets. He seemed to almost smile as he did so. _Mind out of the gutter, Sara. _She told herself. _He looks so cute when he's awkward. No, stop that. Stop staring at his lips!_

"You, um, you want to, uh, do you want to come in?" Sara stuttered, her words coming out as if they were programmed too, her brain had no control what so ever. "You know, have a beer or something. It's the least I could do, you kinda saved me from sleeping on my doorstep."

Nick was shocked by Sara's request, obviously. But not all that surprised. Similar emotions, one could say. He didn't quite know what to say. _If I say okay and stay, will she think that I'm just being nice, that I feel sorry for her? But I'll know I'm not being nice, but I am, but I'm staying because I want to, because I enjoy her company, which isn't a lie, because I like her, right? And if I don't stay she'll think I'm avoiding her or that I don't like her. God, I can't win._

"Sure," Nick sighed, deciding to go out on a whim. _What do I have to lose?_

"Great," she smiled.

What was she doing? She wasn't at all sure, yet she fully obliged. She had been beating around the bush for far too long. It had been different with Nick and her newfound feelings for him. With Grissom she was abruptly up front on some occasions about how she felt and that didn't get her anywhere at all. So when she came to the conclusion, on her way home that very day, that she liked Nick as more than just a friend, how she hadn't realised that when she kissed him was a mystery, she also decided that she was either going to have to be up front once again, praying that she wasn't publicly humiliated, or sit and fester in her feelings. _What a tough choice. What's a girl to do when she has a stupid little crush on the hottest guy at CSI?_

They walked inside and Nick closed the door behind them. Sara dropped her car keys down on the table, removed her jacket and elegantly plopped down onto her sofa. Nick sat down next to her, feeling the tension. It dawned on Sara that she'd promised beer, probably the worse thing possible to add to the mix and aggravate hormone levels. She braced herself to stand up anyway.

"Sara," Nick spoke up.

"Yep, going to get the beer now," she nodded.

"Forgive me for what I'm about to do," Nick repeated Sara's words from earlier that day and copied her to the T.

Nick leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on Sara's soft lips. _Strawberries are never gonna mean the same to me ever again. _He pulled away momentarily to gage her reaction but Sara pulled him back before he had a chance to go in for the kill again. Sara fell back against the arm of her sofa and she pulled Nick with her. They were stuck like that for a good ten minutes, neither wanting to part from the other's hold, both extremely enjoying the moment.

"No, stop," Sara insisted breathlessly, as she broke the kiss and tried to wriggle her way out from under Nick. "Get off me, Nick."

"You didn't have a problem with it 2 seconds ago," Nick whispered huskily, glancing down at Sara as she stared at his chest. "And you're gonna have to teach me how to unbutton someone's shirt with one hand in under a minute."

"No! I don't care, get off me," Sara wriggled around angrily, trying to push him off of her, averting her gaze to nowhere in particular. "And could you button up your shirt."

"Why, is it distracting?" Nick asked.

"Yes, very," she sighed.

"Good," Nick winked.

"Argh! Get off me, Nick," she groaned.

"You have such beautiful eyes, do you know that?" he smiled as he reached up to tuck a errant hair behind her ear.

"Stop it, Nick. Don't touch me, get off me. This was a mistake. You, you jumped me, you took advantage of me and this situation. And to think that for even a split second there I thought you might have actually liked me," Sara sighed, angry, frustrated and embarrassed by the situation.

"You're right, I don't like you…," Nick agreed.

"See, there you go!" Sara exclaimed, and twisted underneath him again. "Now, shove off."

"You didn't let me finish," he stated. "You're right, I don't like you. I love you… I want you."

Sara felt her oesophagus contact and her trachea seize up. In other words, she couldn't breathe! _How could that son of a bitch lie to me!_ He wanted her. Nick Stokes wanted her. _This must be a dream. _She told herself. _It must be. I'm dreaming. Funny, I don't remember going to bed. Maybe this day has just been one big horrible nightmare._

"No," Sara shook her head, trying not to allow her eyes to swell up with tears. "No, I, uh… I don't believe you."

"Believe it, Sunshine," Nick smirked. "You know I wouldn't lie to you."

"I'd like to think not," she sighed. "But how do I know you just don't want to get laid?"

"Come on, darlin', would I do that to you?"

"I'd like to think not," Sara half attempted a smile.

Nick started kissing Sara's neck, causing her involuntarily moan out, much to Nick's delight.

"What part of 'get off me' can't you're brain register?" she asked sarcastically. "Nick stop it!"

Finally hearing the seriousness in her voice, Nick stopped kissing her. "What's wrong?"

"I just… I can't do this, we can't do this," Sara sighed, fearing tears could and would escape and let him know how vulnerable she felt.

"Why can't we do this, Sar? Why can't we be in a relationship?" he asked.

Perhaps bringing up the possibility of a relationship was a step too far but he had to bring it up. Surely if they were going to kiss more may come from that? Nick wanted more to come from it. He wanted to be with Sara, now more than ever. But he was going to have to tread carefully.

"What if it doesn't work out?" she asked. "I wouldn't be able to cope seeing you everyday and not being with you."

"Then we're just gonna have to make sure that doesn't happen, make sure it does work. Make sure we work," Nick smiled.

Sara shrugged her shoulders. "I'm, I'm scared, Nick," her words came out as a soft whisper.

"Me too," he smiled. "But you only live once, right? And if you can take that chance, this chance, I'll be right there with you. You know that, right?"

"Of course," Sara nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything else."

"Good, because I'd really like to date you," Nick grinned like a childish little boy.

"You would?" Sara asked, to clarify.

"Yeah, I would," he nodded.

"Why?" she asked.

"Why?" Nick questioned her question. "Why do you even need to ask? I like you a lot, a hell of a lot."

"But why do you like me?" Sara asked. "Why, how, could you possibly like me, want to be in a relationship with me?"

"You just answered your own question," Nick stated, chuckling slightly.

"I did?" Sara looked confused as she spoke.

"Yeah," Nick smiled. "I like you so much because you fail to realise just how amazing you are, how beautiful, and what that beauty does to me. You drive me crazy, Sunshine. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sara blushed and let her head hang slightly.

"And that's why I want you, and no one else," Nick smirked, staring Sara straight in the eye to convince her that he wasn't making it up.

She may have had her doubts but she hoped she'd be able to get past them. This was all Sara had ever wanted from life. To be loved, to be cared for, to be cared about, for someone to always be there, always protect her, possibly from herself if that were to ever be necessary. _How did you not see what was in front of you this whole time? _All she ever wanted was to be wanted herself, to have a wonderful man to call her own and that same wonderful man to want her, to cherish her, to love her more than anything. And now she finally felt like she could have that. She wanted that with Nick.

Nick wasn't a stupid man, some could say far from it. So, this convinced him that he wasn't going to do something stupid either. He knew for a fact that it was easy to be a smart person and yet make stupid decisions; he'd investigated and found guilty many a person who had those similar personality traits. Nick was falling in love with Sara. _How can one single day change my life so dramatically?_ He wondered. If you would have asked him just the previous day he would have said it was impossible. And yet it had happened. Sara now meant more to him than anything thing else in his life. And Nick was most definitely not going to be one of the many stupid assholes who had hurt Sara so bad in the past and let her escape through his fingers. Nick was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them.

Sara leaned in and kissed Nick, bringing him swiftly out of his thoughts.

"I guess that means I'm forgiven," Nick smiled and gladly returned the kiss.

Thank you for reading. This was just a bit of random Snicker fluff that popped into my head early this week and wouldn't leave until I had wrote it down. I can live again… Review please.


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